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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23630626">doctor put his hands over my liver, told me my resentment's getting weaker</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/glassbones/pseuds/glassbones'>glassbones</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Leonard "Bones" McCoy is a Good Friend, M/M, Minor Character Death, Murder Mystery, Slice of Life, lapslock</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:40:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,073</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23630626</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/glassbones/pseuds/glassbones</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>spock notices something strange, which leads him to discover a skeleton in jim's closet (in bones' garden, specifically)</p><p>title from the garden song by fiona bridgers!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James T. Kirk/Spock</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>doctor put his hands over my liver, told me my resentment's getting weaker</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>cw for background murder and inferred past abuse of unspecified kind</p><p>end notes for spoilers!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"there's a patch of grass in leonard's backyard," spock is standing on the porch. it's late enough that the air is chilly, but the heat still rises from the ground. he's smoking again. jim looks at him from where he's sitting, spock's silhouette sharp where the light from the house catches it.</p><p>
  <span>"yeah, i know."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"it's around six feet long," jim doesn't miss how spock says 'around', not 'five foot something inches'. shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"i know," there is suddenly a silence. the cicadas scream somewhere in the blackcurrant bushes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>spock takes a drag of his cigarette, the old-timey tobacco one. jim found his mom's lighter last year and spock's been using it ever since.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"did you.." spock trails off. jim doesn't think about the patch of grass in the backyard over at bones' farm that's taller and greener than the rest of it, doesn't think about how years back nothing would grow on it, how one night they had to haul random shit over it so no one would see, throw a tarp over under the pretence of protecting whatever they found laying around from the rain. it was a dry spring. jim pointedly doesn't think about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"yeah spock, yeah i did. i mean uh. he did. i made sure there's no mess." spock's immobile, leaning over the railings like theres something to look at either than their messy front yard, like he can see something in the dark. "it was, uh, i kind of didn't think about what i was doing, and then it was done.  so there."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"that's when your stepfather went missing," spock not-quite-asks. he puts out his cigarette, turns around to grab the ashtray, all without looking jim in the eye. it's like watching a movie, all fluid movements and efficiency.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>jim wonders if spock would be good with a knife. they never really cook real food lately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"yeah. that's when frank went missing." jim pats his hand over the little table to his left to see if spock's cigarettes are there. spock gives him the pack. their fingers don't touch, jim thinks on purpose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"you fucking put it all together," winona's lighter is inside the marlboro reds pack. there's only a few cigarettes left. jim takes his time to light one, enjoy it properly like the smoke isn't heavy enough to kill a whole bunch of horses. "spock?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"yes, james." he doesn't sound angry. just quiet. pensive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"you've known for some time, right?" it's so still out here, jim never realizes how much noise spock makes moving around until he's frozen still like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"yes."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>jim didn't notice spock sat down next to him. he hands the pack back, holds the lighter while spock takes another cigarette. "i think i've known for some time now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>jim can't look at him, but he can't look away at the same time. "i think it was back in may when we visited. do you remember? leonard showed us around his orchard, and i couldn't help but notice." spock sighs, breathes smoke out. "i thought about it regularly since then, but it didn't- didn't click, is that how you say it? until last week."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>spock wasn't any different last week, just busy reading something on his padd. shit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"you're not gonna turn bones in or nothing?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"no, jim, i will not." spock looks back at him at last. there's something he's trying to say, jim thinks. he wishes he could ask.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"haven't called cupcake?" jim presses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"i did not call.. cupcake." spock touches his hand then, feather-light. something inside jim unclenches, his head suddenly hurting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they sit there for another couple minutes, until they run out of cigarettes. jim puts the ashtray on his lap at some time, watches the blue smoke dissipate in the air. "gotta do the groceries tomorrow,"  he shakes the empty pack.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"we should stock up on potatoes," spock replies. he reaches out to hold jim's free hand in his. "ran out yesterday."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"yeah, sure. uhura asked to get her some stuff if we're in town. a book or something." jim pictures the fucking grass over where they had buried frank. jim reported him as missing himself, talked to the cops like he cared where frank went, like he didn't know where he was. "don't tell bones, he'll have an aneurysm."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"i will not." spock looks all worried suddenly, and that's what that face he was making earlier was, worry. jim doesn't know if he should laugh or cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"jim?" spock's still holding his hand, the bastard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"i'm okay. it's just i don't think- we hadn't talked about it ever. one day i told bones about the, you know, and next thing i know we're doing some fucking gardening." jim laughs then, just a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"jim, i want you to know that i would," spock is gonna say something stupid, and jim lets him. "had i met you earlier, i would have done it myself. i would."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>spock has gone insane. jim will have to lock him in the attic like in that movie with the fancy teacher lady.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"what the fuck, no. you couldn't just- it changes you, spock. it changed bones."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"we have both killed people. so did leonard. we were glorified soldiers, what would it matter?" spock's angry now, the scary type of angry he only gets when jim fucks up, like that one time he said something horrible and spock tried to kill him a little bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"it matters when it's your stepdad," jim shrugs. "it matters when you hate someone for so long, and then he's dead, and you didn't have a choice in any of it. i don't know, shit, just- just don't."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"i see." spock gets close to him then, still angry. jim isn't sure if it's at him, or at frank, or maybe at bones. "i would kill him if i ever knew him. i am- not disapproving of leonard's actions."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"spock," jim shouldn't be okay with this because angry spock is always serious and because he has seen spock in action, back on the enterprise when that romulan fucker killed amanda and also spock's entire planet, when he has blown up ships, when he delegated redshirts to go and get killed by some klingons. always what he had to do, except maybe for the romulans that one time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"i would, jim." jim goes to hide in spock's ratty flannel jacket (jim's jacket originally, which he probably thrifted when he was a kid), so he doesn't have to see spock's painfully honest expression. "i would have."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they pick themselves up soon after when spock gets cold, and the next day they drive to buy groceries, and jim gets uhura her book, for which he never pays him back, which jim supposes he deserves. he brings it up every so often just to see how she reacts, which is always mock outrage. spock doesn't tell bones, but bones finds out anyway, because spock can't act for shit. they keep their secrets, and bones bakes them so many peach cobblers spock actually starts complaining. he doesn't mention frank since.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>EPILOGUE: TWO YEARS LATER</span>
</p><p>
  <span>spock comes home early from their weekly gossip club meetings with uhura and pavel. bones is in the middle of a whiskey-fueled rant when jim gets the feeling spock is at the door, and then spock is out the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"hiya spock. run out of rumours?" jim beams at him. he can hear bones snicker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"hi jim. hello leonard. sorry to interrupt your conversation."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"'s okay spock," bones drawls, because apparently he forgot they're doing the whole rivalry thing with spock. "want a drink? scotty sent me a whole crate."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"it's basically moonshine," jim adds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"yes, thank you leonard." spock doesn't sit down. he's being weird again, jim thinks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"did you get my message? t'pring called but she wasn't home. i told her you're at uhura's." jim watches bones pour a whole lot of not-moonshine for spock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"yes." spock sits down and accepts his drink. he frowns at it before downing the whole thing in one go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"whoa there buddy," bones says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"alcohol tolerance," jim reminds him wisely. "vulcan stuff. y'know."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"t'pring called nyota's number, who kindly let me use her office." spock sounds like he's reading an official report. he looks vaguely green in the face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> jim wonders if it's the moonshine, but they've actually tried to get spock drunk on moonshine, but it took them a whole bottle and something pavel has called a yorsh, which involved mixing beer and vodka.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"what'd she say?" jim asks. "did she finally murder that stone guy?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"his name is stonn and, no. she informed me of having performed the bonding ceremony with stonn, which was successful. sarek attended, i believe he sent us photos."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"good for her then," bones mumbles. jim just kinda stares at nothing for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"no," jim says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"yes, jim."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"should i go home?" bones asks. no one replies. "anyone?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"im going home guys, see ya."</span>
</p><p>
  <span> jim hears the front door shut, and when he looks back at the table, the moonshine bottle is significantly less full. he takes a swig from it, then instantly regrets the decision.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"rancid stuff."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"it is." spock pours himself another glass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"anyways what the fuck. no."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"james," spock is somehow already refilling his glass. "have you read the documents i have sent you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"you just sent me a link to the vulcan embassy website, also it was years ago, also what the fuck?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>spock pointedly downs his glass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"do you have to?" jim asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"technically, i do not have a choice. we have signed the prenuptial agreement prior to completing the bond, and the official policy states.."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"..that you gotta have at least one kid, and that t'pring gets your firstborn because she is an evil witch and also because your family is super ancient and she needs to remain part of your family to take over the council and do her bidding, yeah." jim sadly stares at the moonshine bottle, which spock is currently shaking the last drops of out of. he mostly misses his glass. jim goes to find something alcoholic, which is apparently pavel's suspicious vodka, which they were told has to be kept in the freezer. probably because it would explode at room temperature. jim unscrews the cap anyway, and tops them both off. "anyways, i remember. you told me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"that i did," spock says in a foreboding voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"is there no way around it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"there is none. additionally, i had sent my genetic materials to the new vulcan databank back when the policy was first introduced."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"oh no," jim gasps. "the witch works there."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"do not call her that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"t'pring is an evil witch."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>spock sighs again. "i booked a shuttle for tomorrow, there's more legal agreements i have to sign."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"okay." jim gets up to put the jet fuel that apparently passes as vodka in the united states of eurasia back into the freezer. "i'm stealing the baby the moment it's outside of t'pring though."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"she inferred it to me that she and stonn would deem it appropriate to let us adopt the child, given that t'pring remains the legal mother."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"yeah whatever. long as we get to keep it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"she also had said that the healers claim it will be a girl, despite it being too early to know the gender."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"she did what now?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"jim. jim? jim, where are you going."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"i'm calling t'pring," jim yells over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"it is currently five hours and thirty four minutes in the m-" jim shuts the door of their cabinet in spock's stupid face and goes to turn on spock's padd. he doesn't care if his call wakes t'pring and her weird boyfriend up, he needs to yell at someone. he can hear spock say something from behind the locked door but pretends he can't. he finds t'pring's number in spock's contacts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the call rings a few times before she picks up. the connection is bad but he can see she's been clearly asleep moments ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"oh hi t'pring," jim smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"do i hear spock yelling?" she asks. she looks puffy. jim hopes it's the toxicosis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"that's him yeah."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"oh no."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"anyways, about the.."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>t'pring hangs up on him before he can finish the sentence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>jim cackles, then gets up to let spock in lest he breaks the door or sets the house on fire or something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"the game is afoot!" jim informs him.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tldr; bones killed jim's stepdad because jim told him how frank mistreated sam and he when they were kids, jim helped hide the body, spock found out years later</p><p>they have discharged from service following the events of st:beyond</p><p>spock doesnt turn bones in, everything is well</p><p>t'pring stole spock's sperm (the whole infertility thing is ignored for the sake of Baby) because of reasons, and spirk will adopt the child once it's born</p><p>:)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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